


Mischief

by GreenDragonette



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Chronically ill character, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Kili just wanted to be romantic, boy can't rest, mentions of racist comments, that's about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:22:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27715394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenDragonette/pseuds/GreenDragonette
Summary: Kili only wanted to spend his free day with his lady love in their favorite place. Alas, it was not to be.
Relationships: Kili/OFC
Kudos: 4





	Mischief

**Author's Note:**

> May be read as an accompanying piece to another fic of mine, [My Lady.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27715148)
> 
> *traditional disclaimer*

Retaking Erebor changed numerous things in Kili’s life. Burdens of responsibility made him more serious, thoughtful and far-sighted. His input oft proved indispensable, especially when the case demanded unconventional solutions.

Marriage, on the other hand, provided an outlet to his mischievous ways. While on the outside he could pretend to be a worthy third to the throne, the joyful, free-spirited soul of the young dwarf remained the same. When the necessity of securing the line of Durin came out again and pressures reached him, too, he followed his heart; and despite the initial disapproval of his uncle and king, chosen a spouse as unusual as could be.

His soulmate couldn’t be considered a beauty by traditional dwarven standards, where a sturdiness of a slab of granite and might of a landslide were promoted, lithe as an elf and damageable as a Man, but Kili usually didn’t mind. If they judged her worth only by fragility of her body it was their loss and own business, unless derogatory comments made an appearance. Those fools experienced first-hand where his battle-name Firestorm came from.

Making her happy was his personal mission. Usually a smile was coaxed by conventional things; a thoughtful gift, a kiss, a joke, a flirty song. Sometimes, though, he aimed to combine both his love for her and thirst for trouble by pranks. Doesn’t matter – small and simple or big and elaborate, if it was fun and brought her amusement, it was worth every single consequence put upon him by his furious uncle or exasperated mother.

He had his rules about it, though. While no-one was off limits, even her, he put much thought to placement, and safety (if not lack of humiliation) of people involved; especially if she might be caught in his scheming.

“My sweet, shall we?” he offered his arm to his princess.

Strolling through the Gardens with the love of his life was one of greatest pleasures of the young prince. It meant that for at least a few hours he was free from arduous duties put upon him as a member of a royal family, Balin had better things to do than teaching him law, history or etiquette (he knew it all, just sometimes opted to ignore it) and his lady felt well enough to walk with him for a mile or two under the sun. Those were ones of the best days.

Now the Gardens themselves were a sight to behold; founded by his great grandfather, placed in a secure cavern, with a ceiling of sturdy glass, closeable vents for a proper air flow and brilliant automatic watering system, were a testimony to the craftsdwarfship of engineers of old. It even had a small terrace outside with chairs for sunbathing, so his Little Flower could catch some tan necessary for Men’s health if the weather was favorable.

The place was heavily underappreciated. While it was full of the greenery an average dwarf had little care for, on the highest levels and accessible mainly by nobles or royal servants, it was also an important source of food, what with various edible plants growing among decorative ones. He could be biased, but he even took a slight interest in a few of the weeds, especially the ones she liked, and was ready to admit the pineapple incident was one of the most enjoyable adventures he had in a long time.

Still, most of the time they were alone here, barring someone looking for them or an occasional busy gardener.

It was a bit of a shock then, when they’ve heard a startled shout nearby and a following cursing. Kili subconsciously placed his Sunbeam behind him, hand on the hilt of his sword. Assassination attempts were rare, unlike amongst Men, but it was still wise to be cautious. After a moment, when it became obvious the shouting dwarf had an animosity towards something else, he relaxed and made his way towards the sounds.

An elderly dwarf had been caught in a net that pinned him to one of palm trees; what’s more, a pig’s bladder full of ochre apparently _exploded_ on him, covering the immediate area, and him head-to-toe, in reddish paint. It was an hilarious sight; the prince valiantly suppressed his smirk, briefly pondering the merits of the idea for later use.

“Prince Kili! I should know it was your deed! I assure you the King will hear about this stunt!” roared the irked victim while trying to pull their ensnared beard form the net.

Young dwarf was confused and a mite offended. It most definitely wasn’t his doing; he spent the whole glorious afternoon basking in the presence of his lady and therefore had no thought nor will for such things, least of all in their romantic refuge.

“I assure _you_ , Master Khogi, that your anger is misplaced; I took no part in this.” He answered coldly, applying a blade to ropes.

The five minutes necessary to free the old rot and get rid of him was wearing on Kili; you wouldn’t guess with vocabulary like that he would be sent by Dain to negotiate anything, especially not trade of heady, perfectly-stored ancient elvish wine no one was quick to part with. He almost gutted the wretch when he offended his beautiful wife, and only her quick reaction saved the miserable life of a son of an orc, diplomatic incidents be damned!

Boiling with righteous rage, he washed his dirtied hands in one of streams and let her sooth him with words and caresses. She worked wonders on him; kissed silly, he entirely forgot the envoy and turned his thoughts to more enjoyable things.

Thorough distraction made him overlook the snare, so when suddenly he was pulled up by his foot he let out an embarrassingly high-pitched yelp and let go of princess’ waist. Next came glue and feathers; now he was the one cursing, though it took him only a moment to pull a knife from his boot and cut the rope; he landed on the ground with a heavy ‘oof’.

“Kili, are you alright?”

“Yeah, love, I am. I may need a bath, though” he grumbled, frowning at the state of his favorite clothes and sticky skin, half-heartedly trying to remove the quickly hardening glue, succeeding only at plucking a few feathers.

“Kili! What in the name of Mahal did you get yourself into again?!” boomed the voice of Thorin. The dwarf in question stormed to them, a matching thunder on his face.

“What does it look like, uncle?” grunted the prince tiredly. “We may need to put a sign at the entrance, it’s the second trap in ten minutes.”

“Go prepare a bath, handsome, I’ll be right behind you.” A small smooch from his soulmate sent him on his way with only mild grumbling.

______

“Care to explain, Thorin?” she turned to the king, whose face gave nothing away.

“Why do you think I had something to do with this?” he frowned.

“I was suspecting that from the moment Kili named the other dwarf ‘Khogi’. You complained he was giving you headaches recently, also by ambushing you and your advisors in the most inopportune moments. Overhearing you telling someone the Gardens are your favorite relaxing place when the Training Pit usually held the title is another hint.” But your voice and too impassive face – the most obvious ones, she didn’t say. “Last but not least, you Durins always have the overwhelming urge to see your mischief through, so you tend to stick around.”

The king beamed unashamedly. “Guilty as charged.” He admitted lightly, offering his arm with a half-bow. “Old lunatic was driving me mad; it feels good to return the favor. Catching a brat of my nephew in the process was a nice bonus.” A boyish grin made him look half his age; it also proved a point how the looks ran in the family.

“Now that your plan have been accomplished, please remove the rest of traps before someone else falls victim to them.” She said sternly.

“As you wish, Sunbeam; I’d ask one thing of you, though.”

“Which is?”

Thorin smiled wider. “Not a word to Kili.”


End file.
